Even the Biebs – with his latest number 1 hit – is confused “What do you mean???” Why is it that men and women have such a very different way of communicating? Here are some of the key differences between male and female communication to understand (and maybe avoid) some of the confusion…
- Problem Solving versus Sharing Feelings
He believes communication should have a clear purpose. Let’s solve this problem head on. She uses communication to discover how she is feeling and what it is she wants to say. Mulling over a problem together is a way of bonding for her.
- Direct versus Indirect
He can be direct in his way of communication, while she is more indirect and subtle, and doesn’t want to be abrupt or short. He mistakes her indirectness for being unclear and confusing; while she finds him commanding and blunt.
- Compartmentalising versus Personalisation
He tends to think more compartmentalised (it’s two completely different situations: he says ‘I am hungry. I like a sandwich.’); she tends to personalise situations (making connections with all the information, processes, integrates and internalises it: Wondering if she should be making sandwiches more often?).
- Short & Sharp versus Details
He focuses on productivity and efficiency. Keypoints are sorted out before he starts talking. Let’s focus and stick to the point please.
She uses communication to organise her thoughts to get to the point of the story. No bullet points here. Please be patient, it’s all in the fine details right?
- Active Listening versus Patiently Listening
Are you listening? He is conditioned to listen actively and filters everything (aiming to solve the problem). Learning to listen patiently (not just passively) doesn’t come naturally. She sees conversation as a productive end in itself. The fact that she has been listened to, and has got things off her chest with someone who (pretends to) understand and sympathise could be all she needs.
via 6 Ways Men & Women Communicate Differently | World of Psychology.
via How women and men communicate differently, Part 1 | KSL.com.
via Essay over communicatie verschillen tussen mannen en vrouwen.